Ya know there are moments in life when you have it all figured out, top of the world, queen of the mountain, that sorta thing. I have had those, felt those, well enough to know that this ain't one of 'em. Don't get me wrong, things are not bad. Heck, any outsider would likely take one look at my life and say, she has got it made. But the insider, oh my soul, and this grab bag of emotions she carries around. It is week 8 here and I still have little way of knowing which side of me I will see from one moment to the next. With unsure steps I move in the direction of... a year ago I would finish this with "my dreams" but now I am just moving, redefining what life means on my terms, the terms of an Army Wife. There is no glamour in cammo, I can promise you that.
Fortunately, I was never looking for glamour. I am however looking for friends, which is proving to be, at best, a daunting task. I feel like I need to put an add in Army Times that reads "WANTED: Feamale companion/peep/compadre that is NORMAL, generally happy, has more in life to talk about than just herself or, at a minimum is not absolutely batshit crazy. Notice I didn't put "and". That would be asking too much. Now I know that all Army wives are not categorically crazy, self absorbed, and or stupid. My fear is that the good ones are hiding.
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